im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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