now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We are two peas in an std pod
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
