"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
