This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
