what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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