please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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