it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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