ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
