yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have already put on my inside pants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
