I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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