the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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