Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
