you have to choose: penises or morals?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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