I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
