what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
