Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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