Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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