You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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