His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
