never play flip cup with pint glasses
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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