I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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