he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
