so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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