Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
and i looked up. we had an audience...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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