Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
