I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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