Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize