Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
