Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
