On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
