Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I miss vodka workout Fridays
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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