I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't deserve a penis
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
