Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
