I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
