the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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