Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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