And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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