My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize