what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
