...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
