I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize