doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
