I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
