I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
