hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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