laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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