my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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