I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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