i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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