so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult