I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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