Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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(202): I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared http://tfl.nu/a5x9

Replies (29) Good night (1142) Bad night (1523)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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(770): I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too. http://tfl.nu/c8jr

Replies (24) Good night (819) Bad night (4218)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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(502): I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away. http://tfl.nu/vvbq

Replies (4) Good night (3048) Bad night (704)
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(785): View more from Kansas

You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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(785): You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early. http://tfl.nu/h3ys

Replies (21) Good night (1118) Bad night (3799)
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(212): View more from New York

so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before

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(212): so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before http://tfl.nu/29hu

Replies (16) Good night (2088) Bad night (4486)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?

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(812): Have you seen my high heels that I wore out? (1-812): You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/rqvo

Replies (15) Good night (7451) Bad night (1032)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago

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(985): shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago http://tfl.nu/00sj

Replies (20) Good night (6357) Bad night (1237)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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(+44): The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad... http://tfl.nu/0y4t

Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (2126)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?

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(570): Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged? http://tfl.nu/qezt

Replies (5) Good night (3255) Bad night (1172)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.

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(303): Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life. http://tfl.nu/83b6

Replies (8) Good night (2971) Bad night (1226)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred

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(508): Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level. (508): I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred http://tfl.nu/piwf

Replies (10) Good night (2597) Bad night (979)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.

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(712): Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled. http://tfl.nu/c6e6

Replies (5) Good night (1583) Bad night (572)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer

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(240): Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer http://tfl.nu/mrff

Replies (4) Good night (1422) Bad night (644)
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(849): View more from

Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons

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(849): Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons http://tfl.nu/2why

Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (361)
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(602): View more from Arizona

You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.

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(602): You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/mu1s

Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (238)

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