Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
