I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
