A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.