Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu http://tfl.nu/ucad
  Replies (12) Good night (7336) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks. http://tfl.nu/ad27
  Replies (16) Good night (4343) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/cp2f
  Replies (21) Good night (1189) Bad night (6995)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico. http://tfl.nu/evuy
  Replies (13) Good night (5616) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg
  Replies (3) Good night (3349) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look http://tfl.nu/7aaf
  Replies (14) Good night (4246) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay
  Replies (14) Good night (3436) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that. http://tfl.nu/qgn9
  Replies (8) Good night (2397) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1604) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina http://tfl.nu/hqzz
  Replies (19) Good night (2071) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good http://tfl.nu/gp9h
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together. http://tfl.nu/6uns
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/axc4
  Replies (5) Good night (753) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station? http://tfl.nu/6qox
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda http://tfl.nu/ejn7
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (180)

Randomize