Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

No. You're kidding.

(919): View more from North Carolina

I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67

Replies (37) Good night (821) Bad night (1276)
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(561): View more from Florida

I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..

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(561): I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho.. http://tfl.nu/ry7a

Replies (6) Good night (773) Bad night (1430)
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(602): View more from Arizona

She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.

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(602): She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section. http://tfl.nu/g47a

Replies (44) Good night (2228) Bad night (6222)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.

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(256): I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck. http://tfl.nu/xyly

Replies (15) Good night (1120) Bad night (5348)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

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(484): You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?" http://tfl.nu/prc0

Replies (8) Good night (3711) Bad night (1090)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke

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(859): So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke http://tfl.nu/0mgq

Replies (8) Good night (2364) Bad night (1363)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.

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(907): Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong. http://tfl.nu/skna

Replies (8) Good night (2899) Bad night (941)
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(646): View more from New York

How was the rest of your night?

(917): View more from New York City

A little fuzzy and a lot naked.

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(646): How was the rest of your night? (917): A little fuzzy and a lot naked. http://tfl.nu/r63c

Replies (7) Good night (2399) Bad night (693)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

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(201): Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/of56

Replies (30) Good night (7165) Bad night (963)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

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(423): and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that http://tfl.nu/i7hu

Replies (10) Good night (1093) Bad night (756)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine

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(337): Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/byg3

Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (598)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.

(630): View more from Illinois

I'm in love.

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(630): She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot. (630): I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/l0w2

Replies (3) Good night (1599) Bad night (505)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me

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(519): I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me http://tfl.nu/9pcd

Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (402)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?

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(517): I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right? http://tfl.nu/axzn

Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (322)
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(980): View more from North Carolina

But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger

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(980): But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/iewj

Replies (1) Good night (668) Bad night (315)

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