i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
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We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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