as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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