ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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