idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
