If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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