ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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