Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
