No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
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If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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