Non-Jews are for practice
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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