why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize