Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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