He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
