Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
