Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
