Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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