fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
