Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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