I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
