so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This baby is an asshole
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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