Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
