your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I can't turn off my feet"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
