I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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