I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
