I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
