Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
