She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And then my night got REAL pukey
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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