i jhust puked up my retainher.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
